Yes, this is Hirono.
Hello? Is this Miyako?
Bingo.
So I didn't disappear.
I haven't disappeared yet.
Miyako...
Chihiro, this is you.
Take your time.
If you read this, you'll be able to find your lost self.
Is it okay to leave her alone?
The rest is her own problem.
No way...
I told you not to get too involved with Chihiro.
I should've also told you to prepare yourself if you wanted to stay by her side.
Chihiro has lost four years of memories.
And even those were just faint images that maintained her original memories.
If she spends time reading the diary again and again,
she should be able to return to something like her original state.
No way...
It's something that has happened many times before.
It will happen again in the future.
And, the pain will become greater when her memories disappear over time.
In that case, it's even more important that someone stays by her side.
You don't get it.
I wasn't talking about Chihiro.
You will be the one who suffers a greater pain.
That's why I told you not to get too involved with Chihiro.
Is it painful?
That's...
You can still turn back now.
At the moment, Chihiro doesn't know about you.
If you want to disappear from her life, now is the time.
Something doesn't feel right.
Yes, this is Tsutsumi.
Ah, senpai. This is Shindou.
Kei-chan.
Can you keep me company for a bit?
Eh?
A
The furigana next to it says "Kioku," which means "Memory."
This is... me?
Yeah, that's right.
It doesn't make a difference... whether I read this or not!
It's always the same day after day.
I just keep repeating meaningless days.
Chihiro...
Do I have to keep doing it?
Do I have to keep doing what's written in this diary from now on?
It would be nice if I could put an end to it.
It would be nice if I could put an end to such an existence.
I can't calm down if I don't touch the ball.
Can't you ask Hirono to keep you company?
His hands are filled with work, so I can't be unreasonable.
Say, Kei-chan.
What is it?
Are you and Hirono getting along well?
G-Getting along well...
Hirono-senpai and I are just like siblings.
We don't really have that kind of...
Nah, that's why I was asking if you two were getting along well as siblings.
My mom was an actress when she was alive.
My mom was really sparkling.
I want to make films like those as well.
Sparkling?
I think you're really sparkling too.
Me?
Yeah.
But now, you don't have that sparkle you had when we first met.
I wonder if it's because something happened between Hirono and you.
Somehow I feel like they're getting far away from me.
By the time I noticed, they were in some faraway place I couldn't reach.
Everyone...
Everyone?
Not just Hirono-senpai.
You're also trying your best at something you want to do.
My younger sister has started writing her novel.
Even though she's not in a state to do something like that.
Yet, I just do nothing because of this injury.
I'm not sparkling at all like this.
But that's not the only thing on your mind, is it?
You know everything.
I told you, right? If I look through the finder, I can see everything.
Yahoo! Long time no see, Hirono-kun.
What happened to your cell phone?
I switched to this.
See? A telephone card.
I don't need to pay monthly charges, and I don't get weird emails and crank calls.
It has lots of advantages.
Then I won't be able to call you either, will I?
Ah. I might've overlooked that.
I'm sorry I stood you up on Sunday.
Nah, it's all right.
Eh? You're not mad?
It's fine. Since you're here now.
That's not like you.
Ah, you were asked to hand in your career interest survey soon.
If you keep ignoring it, they'll call your parents.
What will you write?
For now, I'm going to say I want to go to college.
What about being a manga artist?
If I write that, they'll call my parents for real.
In the worst case, they'll find out about my job, and I'll be forced to quit.
Your dad doesn't understand what you want to do?
I was the one who got mad and left home.
Isn't that nice, being free.
I don't want to hear that from you.
Why?
You always seem to walk around all free and at ease.
That's not true.
My freedom is the empty kind.
Yours is the freedom to choose what you want to do.
A very substantial freedom that you got after
experiencing a lot of hardship and pain.
I don't have any freedom at all.
There are lots of things I need to think about.
I'm totally boxed in.
If I start thinking about them, they're nothing but headaches.
If they're a bother, you can just abandon them and run away.
You're free to choose what you want.
That's why you're also free to abandon what you want.
That's right. How about running away with me?
To a faraway place that nobody knows.
You dummy.
You're right.
You're responsible for it since you made the choice.
Once I'm involved with something, I can't get myself to run away and pretend it never happened.
What about me?
You're involved with me too, so you won't run away, right?
Ah... the truth is, that's the thing I wanted to pretend it didn't happen the most.
That's mean!
Thank you.
Eh?
Because there's someone like you around, I feel like I can let out my excess stress.
Hirono-kun...
Well, it's just a feeling.
I feel really comfortable being with you too.
But only that little time I can spend with you.
Miyako...
Hey, Hirono-kun.
Hm?
Say something.
S-Something...
You draw shoujo manga, don't you?
Don't you have any romantic lines for this kind of situation?
I can't let go of you anymore.
That's really corny.
I-I love you.
That's cliche.
Je t'aime.
What's that?
If you're killed, I will die with you.
Isn't that the wrong situation?
Are you really a professional...
I'm not good at ad-libbing.
If I don't have my drawing paper, I can't come up with lines.
Then take me to a place with drawing paper.
Do you know about this story?
They did an experiment before.
An experiment?
What kind of stuff would a baby say if it was brought up without anyone ever talking to it.
There's no way it would be able to say anything.
Half right.
Half?
Not only couldn't it say anything, but it died as well.
What a sad story.
In my case, I didn't die, and I can still talk properly.
Miyako, you...
Hirono-kun.
Can you look at me alone at all times?
Yeah, I will look only at you.
I don't want to disappear from someone's heart again.
Is it about Chihiro?
Yes.
That's fine. I'll listen.
Chihiro has wanted to disappear for a long time.
Yeah.
I'm afraid of her.
Don't worry. It's natural for you to feel afraid.
Even if that's a mean thing to do?
Do you know why she feels lonely?
Yeah. Because she's all by herself.
That's just the outcome.
Think about the cause.
Then... because she was happy.
That's right.
Because she learned about happiness, she feels lonely for the first time.
And because she knows unhappiness, she understands happiness for the first time.
No way...
This world revolves around two views on the same thing.
In addition, it's about laughable miseries.
No way...
You two walked into loneliness on your own.
No way... There's no way...
Are you telling me there's something else I could do?
Are you satisfied with being able to let it out?
Doesn't it comfort you to talk about it to someone?
Why didn't you keep me away from Chihiro?
I warned you.
You should've prevented us from seeing each other.
You're right. Maybe I wanted to watch it...
A dream that someone like me might be able to succeed.
I probably have the answer to what you and Chihiro should do.
Do you want to know?
I'll just give you a hint.
Take the story that Chihiro is writing seriously.
Think about the reason she's writing such a story.
The furigana next to it says "Gensou," which means "Illusion."
"The girl started drawing self-portraits the day after the wedding ceremony."
"Even though she was married, there was no one except her in her world."
"That's why she put herself into the paintings."
"The girl put herself into all the paintings."
"In that world beyond, the two of them were laughing together."
"Looking at herself in the paintings, she felt strange."
"The girl couldn't really understand that feeling."
"Nevertheless, it continued to attract the girl's interest."
"The girl is only one in the world."
"That made her the God of this world."
The furigana next to it says "Odoriji," which means "Iteration Mark."
Should we take a break?
I baked some cookies. I hope you like them.
Thank you for everything, Renji-san.
Renji-kun.
Ah, I'm sorry.
Unconsciously, I thought you were older than me.
I see. You can just call me whatever is easier for you.
Nah, please let me call you what I did before.
I will go back. I will go back to my former self.
The furigana next to it says "Hanpuku," which means "Repetition."
I've been writing a novel, right?
I'm surprised.
It's almost finished.
I need to keep writing it.
You don't need to force yourself.
We can resume when you feel like it.
Will you still help me when that time comes?
Yeah, of course.
The furigana next to it says "Hajimari," which means "Beginning."
I've reread it three times now.
Am I going back to the person you knew?
Yeah. You feel just like the usual you.
I'm glad to hear that.
Now, I can love you the way I used to.
Eh? A-Ah, I-I see.
Eh? Is it possible you didn't know?
Nah, it's more like... you never said you liked me to my face.
But I wrote in the diary that I confessed...
I was the one who confessed. Besides, it was like an accident.
It wasn't a formal confession.
Because I wrote that I liked you in the diary many times, I thought I already...
R-Really?
Did I do something rash perhaps?
Nah, you think so?
You could be right...
Please forget what happened just now.
I already heard it though.
You're mean.
For the past four years...
Eh?
For the past four yours, I've just been standing still.
Maybe I should say I was at a dead end.
I couldn't do anything. There was nothing to do.
I was just putting up with the passage of time.
I wished I might as well disappear.
It was really painful to read the diary of a person like that.
But, the diary became really cheerful after I met you.
Everyday, it was filled with happiness.
I felt really lucky just from reading it.
Chihiro...
From here to here.
These pages are my whole life to me right now.
Chihiro.
Thank you, Renji-kun.
The furigana next to it says "Futari," which means "Couple."
What are memories?
What do you mean?
If memories change, does personality change too?
Or does personality stay the same, but the remembered content differs?
Hm... the personality might change if you talk about the exact meaning,
but the person herself should stay the same for her whole life in that sense.
I hope so.
What's the matter?
When my four years of memories disappeared,
perhaps that former self was already dead.
I'm also thinking that the former self that spent time with you has already disappeared.
That's not true.
Renji-kun.
That's not true. No matter what happens, you are you.
You didn't die, nor are you a different person.
Renji-kun...
You're the Chihiro that I've always known.
You're a dummy, Chihiro.
There's no way that's true.
You're right.
I'm weird, aren't I?
Yeah, you're weird.
There's no way that's true. It's impossible.
The furigana next to it says "Jijitsu," which means "Truth."
There's no way... no way that's true.
Why? Why are you still here?
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
Chihiro has forgotten about you. Chihiro doesn't remember you.
Why are you still here?
Are you saying Chihiro's existence is more delicate than sand?
Are you saying Chihiro's memories are more fragile than sand?
There's no way that's true. There's no way...
Chihiro is Chihiro.
She met me, she laughed with me. She's been mad, she's cried.
It's the Chihiro I know!
She didn't disappear! She's not a different person!
Something like that... something like that...
can't be true!
The furigana next to it says "Yokan," which means "Presentiment."
Hey, come here.
Hurry up and come here.
There's loneliness here.
"The girl is only one in the world."
"That made her the God of this world."
I'm going to wake Onii-chan up then.
How about a sandwich?
Perfect.
I think.
That doesn't sound reliable.
What's wrong, Kei-chan?
Kei-chan, your leg! It's bad for you to run!
Kei-chan!
Are you all right, Kei-chan?
Kei-chan! Kei-chan...
Kei-chan...
Look for me, and bring me back with you.
Next episode, ef - a tale of memories:
I'm here.
Do you have memories you don't want to forget?